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So I sit quietly, cursing my stepfather for foisting this job on me because he got stuck late at the office again. ‘You’ll appreciate it when you see the look at your mom’s face,’ he’d texted. Right. Sure. Not. Social sex chat. She’ll be all over him in yet another nauseating display of sexual affection I’m glad I don’t have to deal with during semester. “It’s nice.” And it is. But I can’t tell the difference between the Macan and the Cayenne for shit.

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